Random
by GothicChickForChrist
Summary: Okay.These storys arn't mine but they are some I've read before and I liked them so enjoy!NoteI have NO credit to these once so ever!
1. You Read My Diary

Ryou hums to the tune of 'I Touch Myself' by the DiVinyls as he walks home from school, favoring his left leg. Bullies had decided to meet up with him a couple of blocks away from his house. His house, mind you, not his home. His home was where some one loved him back. Pain is all he knows. Bullies and Bakura... Bakura... It pained him to think that Bakura would never love him. Never touch him in a loving way. Bakura touched him enough. He had the bruises and scars to prove it. Ryou fingers the bruise on his cheek. "Bakura gave me this..." he says to himself, his hand reaching towards his stomach. "And some one I barely know gave me this..." Ryou's hand returns to his face. It was strange how, even if Bakura hit him anywhere else, never, ever, had he ever hit Ryou in the face. He mulls this over, twisting the grocery bag in his hand. As he was walking home, he realized that they were out of bread. He still wonders why Bakura never hit his face. "Why?" He asks himself, Reaching his door, opening it, stepping inside, waiting for his yami to start yelling at him. No sound came from inside the house. "Bakura-sama? Are you here?" "Ryou, come here, I am in the living room." Ryou walks into the living room, facing his yami, who is sprawled upon the couch. Bakura gets up and walks to Ryou. "You are late," he says, simply, his voice like molten lava. "I...I'm sorry, Bakura-sama. It won't happen again," Ryou answers meekly. "Go upstairs, I wish to talk with you." Ryou nods, bounding up the stairs, forgetting about the bag in his hand. Bakura follows silently. They enter Ryou's room and Ryou leans against the wall. "Why were you late?" "I needed to get something from the grocery store..." he answers meekly, holding up the bag. Bakura nods. "Warn me next time you are going to be late, okay?" Ryou nods as Bakura plants both hands on the sides of Ryou's head, trapping him. He brings his hand up under Ryou's chin and lifts his head. "What happened to your face Ryou?" he asks, his hand brushing the already bruising spot on Ryou's cheek. "I... I got cornered by bullies before I got home..." Bakura's eyes darken with anger, and Ryou presses harder against the wall, whimpering. 'Please don't hit me...' Bakura's hand doesn't move from under Ryou's chin. "Do you know who did this?" "N..No." Bakura nods, running his thumb over Ryou's soft lips. "Would you be able to point out the people who did this?" "I... I believe so, Bakura-sama." "Good," Bakura purrs. /Bakura-sama? Is something wrong//No, everything is perfect, my Hikari./ Ryou jumps. "W...What did you just call me?" "My hikari," Bakura murmurs. Ryou shrinks back. "Bakura-sama, are you sure you are alright? You are not drunk, are you?" "No, Ryou, I'm perfectly sober..." Again Bakura runs his thumb across Ryou's lips and mumbles something incoherent. "What did you say, Bakura-sama?" "Stop calling me Bakura-sama. And Ryou, I said I. Love. You." With that, Bakura closes the few inches that are between his and Ryou's faces, capturing his hikari's lips in a feather like kiss, just the brief sensation of lips against lips. Ryou gasps. /W...W... What//You heard clearly what I said. Now shut up. I am going to ravish you now./ Bakura picks up Ryou and tosses him upon the bed, none to gently, jumping into it after him. Ryou lays on his back, still to shocked to do anything but watch his yami straddle him and continue to brush his lips upon his own gently. A gentle Bakura is an oxymoron, but Bakura was being gentle, not even kissing Ryou full on the lips. Finally Bakura presses his lips upon Ryou's and runs his tongue across Ryou's bottom lip. Ryou complies, opening his mouth and responding positively, letting a small moan escape his now covered mouth. Bakura shivers as his Hikari's hands slip under his shirt, his small hands massaging his stomach artfully. "Ra Ryou... Ra you are beautiful." Ryou shakes his head. "No I'm not... I am hideous, Bakura." Bakura looks Ryou in the eyes and shakes his head. "I don't want to hear another thing like that come out of your mouth, ever again, hikari. Now, back to what we were doing..." Bakura unbuttons Ryou's shirt, slipping it off of his lithe form, running his hands over his Hikari's stomach and chest, avoiding the dark patches of bruised skin. His brow furrows with regret. He places a small kiss on Ryou's cheek, trailing kisses down his neck, nipping and sucking on his alabaster neck lovingly. He then moves downward and places his mouth upon one of Ryou's nipples, teasing the small nub with his tongue playfully, using his hand to rub on Ryou's other nipple. In turn, his soon to be lover arches his back and lets out a moan. "K...Kura!" Ryou gasps out. /I still say you talk to much Hikari./ Bakura says through their mind link. He grinds together their hips, receiving another gasp of pleasure from Ryou. He reaches to unbuckle Ryou's pants and... Near the door some one clears their throat. Ryou looks up, hiccups softly and blushes red. "H... Hello Yami, Yuugi..." Bakura looks up and sweat drops. "Get the hell outta here Pharaoh. I'm busy." "I see that, Tomb robber. We are here to see Ryou." "He is busy to." "Ummm... You want to wait in the living room? I will be down in a minute," Ryou says. Yuugi nods and tugs on his Yami's sleeve. "No he won't!" "Don't listen to him!" Ryou, true to his word, is down in less than a minute. Yami is the first to speak. "Hey, Ryou, you have a bunch of hickies of your neck. How the hell did you convince him to let you go?" Ryou bushed even harder, if possible. "We made a deal... I have ten minutes." "Sooo... Ryou... You and Bakura are... Together?" Yuugi asks. "I didn't know." Ryou rubs the back of his head. "Me either." "What?" Yami takes his turn to talk. "I jumped him when he got home!" Bakura yells from the kitchen. "Oh yeah, Ryou, your diary!" The book comes flying from the kitchen and Ryou just barely catches it. He notices a small piece of paper sticking out of the diary. Yami and Yuugi lean forward and look at Ryou, who opens up his diary to read the slip of paper. He drops it and stomps to the kitchen while yelling. "BAKURA! YOU READ MY DIARY!"


	2. Bakura And The Vaccum Cleaner

Bakura Vs The Vacuum Cleaner

It could easily be said, that nothing would get on Yami no Bakura's nerves. Not for long, at least. Typically, if something mildly annoyed the tomb robber, he would dispose of it, cleanly (Or messily, if that was to his liking) and often sadistically. It could also be said, that he'd made a hobby of such disposals, mostly driven by the stipend of satisfaction he got when he wiped out an obstacle, with revenge kneaded into his process of doing so.  
Such was his way of dealing with things, and he had grown confident in the pattern he'd made for himself. He never thought he'd have to choke down such an urge for revenge and or bloody murder, particularly against a foe that was of such evil origin.  
Yes... an evil beyond evils...

It all began on a typical day. Ryou was downstairs doing something or other, while his Yami contentedly fiddled with some chess pieces upstairs in his room.   
He didn't know the rules of the game, or more, had never bothered to learn them, but he liked the prospect of manipulating a small wooden army to whatever ends he pleased. On this current session of his newfound hobby, the white king was a vampire, who was seeking the conquest of the civilization of werewolves. But being an enjoyer of unnatural cruelty, he put a few twists on the story by making the queen betray him, brutally murder several of her own knights, and kill the werewolf queen so she could be with the werewolf king. (Of course, unbknownst to all other pieces, this was just a ploy for power. She would devour her new lover as soon as she came into a position of influence.) He smirked and happily contemplated what a clever little witch this queen was, and how he admired her cunning. He was just about to move one of the knights into action against a bishop when-  
WHIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRR!  
The sudden noise had startled him so, that he nearly jumped out of his skin. As he jolted, his hands hit the chessboard, and consequently sent a rook flying forcefully into his forehead, which left a red-ish castle-top mark.   
He scrambled to get up, fearing it was that darned Ammet out to get him after pursuing him for his avoidance of the afterlife in the past several thousand years. He scrambled down the stairs, and slid open the door to the sitting room with more force than he'd intended, to look panickedly at a cheery hikari handling some monstrous item.   
Ryou turned and smiled, mouthing something or other over the unearthly loud noise, which was entirely lost on Bakura, who was focused on the monstrosity producing the noise. A little panicked arm flailing as well as some obscene and threatening gestures got the message through, and Ryou flipped the switch on the handle.  
"Ara, Yami, what is it?"  
Wide-eyed, Bakura held his mortified position, with a furious accusing finger pointed in the direction of said monstrosity.  
"Wh-What in Ra's name is that thing?"   
Ryou made an innocently confused face, and turned his head towards the object at which his Yami was pointing.  
"You mean this? It's just a vacuum cleaner," he furrowed his brow, "You've seen it before."  
Bakura sputtered.  
"I'd remember if I saw that- that abomination!" Well, if he'd heard it to be more exact. Now was not a time for trivialities, though. He was thoroughly convinced that somebody's life was on the line if he spent too much time in the same room with that thing.  
Ryou, on the other hand, was simply confused, and tried to offer an explanation.  
"A vacuum cleaner is a machine that cleans carpets. It sucks up dirt into a bag. I've been thinking about getting a smaller one, since this is the only carpeted room in the house."  
"Are the smaller ones-... quieter?"  
"Not really, just more high pitched." This comment brought to mind in Bakura's head, the image of a bouncing baby monstrosity (Diaper and all), whining out it's siren scream, as it conspired to be the death of him. He wouldn't have it.  
"No!" He said convictedly, his fists clenched.  
"No, what?"  
"No, I will not have that abomination in my house!"  
"... This isn't your house, Yami. If I remember correctly, my parents were kind enough to let you stay."  
Bakura twitched and stood himself up straighter to assure dominance.  
"That's irrelevant!"   
Somehow Ryou's subtle confidence was chewing away at the darker one, and power flopped from it's normal standing, as Ryou began to assume a role similar to a housewife chewing out her lazy husband.   
"Tell you what." He said leaning on the handle of the vacuum cleaner, "Why don't you get a job, then maybe you can have some more say in what the policies of this house are."  
"I did get a job!" Bakura declared, defiantly folding his arms.   
"Oh, yeah, that one time..."

/ Bakura strutted through the aisle, fingering his shiny new tag, that read 'Hello, my name is Bakura: How may I help you?'. He had thought this job would be a breeze, but he found himself having to ask the Trainee manager questions left and right.  
'What on earth is this?' He asked confusedly, holding up the pink silky object.'  
'That's a thong.' His manager replied, rather gruntly, with a hint of annoyance in her voice.  
'Oh... I knew that.' He said, shifting.  
'Bakura-kun, are you sure you have the expertise to work in a lingerie store?' She implored. He straightened himself out haughtily, and gave a confident reply.  
'Of course! I can do anything!' He was certain he'd been convincing.  
'Good. Then take those panties off your head.'

'How on earth do you get fired on your first day?' Ryou inquired, perplexed.  
Bakura declined to answer./

"You still haven't told me why you got fired." Ryou said.  
Bakura shifted nervously and grumbled something about scaring customers away.  
Several scenarios drifted through Ryou's mind, but he shook the question off and spoke again,  
"I still have more cleaning to do. Why don't you just go upstairs and try to ignore it?"   
Bakura opened his mouth to object, but then saw there was nothing he could do to get in the way of his Hikari, particularly when he was on an enthusiastic cleaning streak. Like an upset teenager, he stomped up the stairs, and slumped over the remains of his chess battle.  
He tapped his finger, and tentatively chewed on the end of one of the pieces, gritting away his annoyance. The treated wood piece tasted terrible, and he spat, wiping his tongue off on his sleeve. He decided to just tap the piece against the wood floor, in anxious anticipation to whenever that thing was going to start up again.  
After what seemed like both a milisecond, and an eternity at the same time, he flinched as the light bulb flickered, and the Whirring began again.  
WHIIIIIIRRRRRRR-  
He chewed on a nail.   
WHIIIIIIIREEEEEEEE  
He tapped the bishop piece against the floor.  
WHIIIIIRREEOOOOOWW-EEEEEOOOOWW-EEEOW!  
With more intensity he tapped, as he traced the patterns where this hideous vaccum was traveling in the floor beneath him.  
WHII- It stopped.  
He breathed a sigh of relief. He listened to the muffled clicks of what he hoped was Ryou packing up the vacuum cleaner.   
WHRRREEEEEEEEEEE It began again.  
"&!" He shouted, snapping the bishop in two between his fingers.  
With intent fervor he stomped back downstairs, and slammed the door back open.  
"Why in the name of Osiris aren't you finished yet?" He growled, a vein popping out on his forehead. the whirring slowed to a silence, and Ryou, who was slightly miffed, but barely showed it, replied,  
"These things just take time, Yami."   
"Can't you just skip it?"  
"That may be good enough for you, but guests come over, and it's polite to at least keep a decently clean house. Now scoot yourself back up, and I'll be done in five minutes."  
There seemed to be a dark cloud looming over the Egyptian's head as he trudged his way upstairs. He sat on his floor, gritting his teeth, pulling his hair, and all other manners of activities that would contain him from going ballistic against every living and inanimate object in sight.  
He sat for what had to be more than five minutes, what was left of his sanity (He had some before?) dripping away.  
By the time the sounds from downstairs had ceased, Bakura was reduced to lying in the fetal position in the middle of his bedroom floor, cursing to Osiris, Thoth, Horus, and every god he could think of, as well as some he wasn't certain even existed (But for the sake of his cursing, he hoped flibbertyjibbit was an Egyptian god).  
As soon as he was certain it was silent for good, he pulled himself off the floor a mad vengeful look in his bloodshot eyes.

Yes, that vacuum was as good as dead.


End file.
